Thursday, October 8, 2009


When Amanda was diagnosed with cancer I hoped to find another girl her age for her to meet that was going through cancer too. I knew it would help her not feel so alone. Over the past five months I've looked for that friend at clinic, but have not found her as most cancer kids are young boys and older girls. This weekend there was an obituary for a girl her age that died of liver cancer. It broke my heart. How hard it would be to go through this only to lose your child at the end. I know that Amanda's prognosis is good and we know she will survive. This was a gentle reminder for me that she is meant to be here. It has been humbling for me to recognize that it is in God's hands and that we have not one, but two children spared this year. Five months ago Will's heart was so large it took up half his chest cavity, he was supposed to have suffocated from lack of amniotic fluid, and most of his organs were under stress. How grateful I am that God still lets me hug my kids at the end of the day. Humility is hard to explain, but you recognize it when it is granted upon you.

Amanda continues with her intensive treatment. Yesterday was a long treatment day with the most medications she's had at one time. Both Scott and I thought she'd have to be carried out of the car. To our surprise she's happy, talkative, and acting like herself. She had the different medication with her lumbar puncture. We both believe she is responding much better to this medication than the last. How I wish we would have discovered this sooner. It's sad to think that her treatment was more difficult than needed, but we can't change that. I'm just grateful that she looks so good today and hope that this med continues to be better.

1 comment:

  1. I saw her light on this morning at 6:30 as I was running to the store. I almost wanted to stop and give you a hug, because I was sure you were going through a rough patch. I hope all is well. Let me know when you feel up to a moment of respite, even if its a walk to my house for a scoop of ice cream!