Spring is in the air

Our beautiful daughter!

Make A Wish Easter egg hunt.

Having fun!

Viva La Perry! Amanda celebrated her 11th birthday in style!

Ahhhh. I'm shouting out my sigh of relief after a very chaotic transition in our life. We have settled into our new house and we are very happy with the decision we have made. The move was very hard on our family. I have been exhausted for quite some time now and the kids have been non-stop sick and ornery. But every day gets better as we acclimatize to our new surroundings and get settled.

With a larger yard I've focused on planting fruit shrubs and trees to give them time to take root. I thought of Amanda as the gardener told me to brutally strip down growth and fruit for the first two years to ensure that the roots grow strong. I feel like that's what we've done to her for several years now. Despite harsh pruning I know that we are among a season of strengthening and growth for her while she continues to mend physically and mentally.

Amanda is slowly making friends and adjusting to her new school. Aside from a really bad ear infection the first week of school, she has done really well. I didn't realize she had already done this year's curriculum plus the majority of sixth grade. Her teacher is a bit stumped with how to challenge her. She's missed over a year of school and is still a grade level ahead! She is so smart! So we are focusing our attention on friendships, church involvement, and extra-curricular activities. She is so excited to go to cancer camp, play soccer again, and everything else that so many other kids get to do without realizing it's something to cherish.

Scott and I continue to offer our heartfelt empathy for parents with terminally ill children. I daily think of children on the oncology unit at Primary Children's. There are a lot of kids struggling right now. www.anythingforafriend.com There are still moments I'm numb as to why my children have been spared. I know the best way to honor this blessing is to love my life, live happily, and cherish what I have. I will admit that the stressful ravages of going through chemotherapy, health problems, and other challenges has left me really tired and worn out. It can be distracting. I suppose that Amanda's not the only one stengthening roots right now!

Pardon my Absence

Has it really been 4 months since my last post? I'd like to think it was because time was flying. Rather, it was because life turned into pure chaos. The sale of our house fell through at the last minute, we re-listed and averaged showings every day, and the house we want hit some roadblocks. It's been crazy! We sold again and are temporarily with my parents. We are pretty tired and out of sync with all the changes and chaos. We will be moving into our new home next week. Based on the rare circumstances of how everything has played out, we have no doubt that this new home is where we are meant to be. Amanda is having a hard time understanding and adjusting. She will pull through just like she has with everything else she's had to deal with.

Aside from the stress of moving, Amanda really is doing remarkably well. I can hardly believe how healthy she is. I told her doctor that after 3 years I finally have my daughter back. To see her now you couldn't tell what she has been through. She has been in remission for 8 months. Every month gets us closer to the one year mark and greatly increases her odds of a full recovery. Personally, I believe she is cured. I can see such a bright future ahead of her. The fatigue and emotional setbacks are getting better each day. She is so resilient and I am so proud of her for it. We are so blessed to have our children healthy again. I have no doubt that they are a blessing from God and each day I cherish them. It is God's will when we come and when we go. I understand this and know that they are here for a reason. My job now is to better understand the purpose that they have and help them live up to their God given potential. I stand in awe at the blessings God has given me.

The picture at the top is inside the wishing room at Make A Wish. I am convinced that Make A Wish is one of the greatest charitable organizations in existence. I cannot believe the different it is making for Amanda. We went down to their facility and she made her wish for a Phineas and Ferb day. For those of you unfamiliar with the Disney cartoon I highly recommend you watch a few episodes and you will quickly fall in love with Perry the Platypus as she has. This show was our saving grace throughout treatment. She has just about memorized every episode. Even when she was at her worst, Perry would captivate her attention and bring a much needed smile to her face. She has been approved to go down to the Disney studios and it will be up to them how they create her day. If she has her way, they will animate her into the show. When we go is up to Disney, Make A Wish and ultimately funding. Since she started getting involved with the organization I've noticed such a difference with her. She is adjusting to the changes and accepting the past difficulties of her life with much greater ease. Having something to get excited about and getting such special attention has made a big difference for her. Amanda recently met another wish kid, Lizzy, with the same diagnosis and same age. They hit it off instantly. Lizzy had made a wish to have a new bedroom. She appreciated her gift so much that she wanted to give back. So for her birthday, she asked to have a party where everybody donated money for her to give a gift to another wish kid. Amanda was selected as that child. Lizzy purchased over $400.00 of Phineas and Ferb merchandise to give to Amanda. It was a touching experience and Amanda has just cherished the gifts, attention, and feeling that she is cared about. She is handling the current changes in her life so much better because of Make A Wish.

I am nobody! Who are you?

We are moving on from many things right now. We are moving out of our home at the end of the month. If all goes well we will be living about 5 miles down the road by Christmas. Amanda will be moving out of her gifted and talented program. She has done an amazing job considering her many challenges to keeping up. But it is time to have my children in the same school. We are moving on from fewer medical appointments. Amanda was invited to participate in group therapy for medically involved kids. It felt strange to be back to Primary's after a long 2 month stretch since my last visit. And best of all, we are moving on from cancer. For the first time in three years I can say, I have my daughter back. She looks and acts like herself again. She is happy. She is full of energy. She wants to play. She enjoys every moment that affords her the chance to live life. The remnants of chemotherapy are fading. Her strength is coming back, her coloring is back, the swelling on her face has gone down, she whines less, she laughs more. I can still tell that she is not 100%. But every day we get closer. Compared to her health even two months ago, she has healed so much. I am humbled with tremendous gratitude for the gift of her life that has been granted back to me. We are getting involved in Hope Kids, Make a Wish (still waiting to have her wish granted), Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and anything else that helps provide a purpose for her and connects her to her cancer in a more positive way. We ventured to Las Vegas last a few weeks ago and had a really good time. It is so nice to be able to get out again.This picture was taken on Labor Day. Compare this to the picture below and notice how much Amanda has grown and how much her face has slimmed down from being off steroids.
This picture shows off a lot of hard work to transform Amanda into Emily Dickinson for her"Images of Greatness" school project. I think she chose Dickinson because she read one of her poems last year and she was really able to relate to Dickinson. The poem is an expression of how she felt about the loneliness and isolation of chemotherapy treatment.

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us — don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

-Emily Dickinson

Moving On

-Celebrating the end of Chemo with the ward primary. They decorated the house and gave her gifts. As you can see by the smile, it was very much appreciated.

If you haven't noticed, my blogging is getting fewer and farther between. I do believe it's part of moving on from cancer. Amanda ran a fever several days ago. I called oncology since she's still is immune compromised (should improve in about 1-4 more months). I was told to treat her like a normal kid. It brought a smile to my face to hear those words and a feeling that I cannot describe. I cannot put into words how wonderful it feels to finally be here. And yet, I'm very exhausted and emotionally worn out. It's a strange mixture of thoughts and emotions that I find myself sorting through. I do believe that what she has gone through has served a purpose in her life and will shape the future of our family. I've never understood how people can be grateful for their trials. I still struggle to grasp this. But I can say I'm grateful for what I have learned and am still learning. I know that Amanda has a purpose in her life and that is why she is still here.

I commented to Scott at dinner tonight that Amanda's cheeks haven't been that rosey in three years. I hear more laughter than whining from her. She plays more with her siblings. She is eager and happy to be at school once again. She's growing up tall very quickly. She looks so much healthier and has more energy. Seeing my daughter emerge back to herself is giving me a lot of hope for her future. She is in the 95% cure rate. Her remission needs to last 5 years to be considered cured. I believe she will get there.

I've really wondered whether to keep writing or end this blog. It seems rather blunt to end as soon as chemo is done. There is a brighter side to Leukemia, and I think I need to showcase that for a while. I will at least keep it updated until Amanda has her Make A Wish granted. She has qualified and received her special key to the wishing room to go make her wish. We are just waiting for her turn. She is very excited. I don't know what she wants, but I'm sure it will have something to do with Perry the Platypus, her favorite cartoon character.

Time For Relay

Time flew by quickly. Its time again for Relay For Life. Tonight we meet at Barnes Park to take part in the Central Davis Relay For Life. It will start at 6 pm with a victory lap by cancer survivors. Then from there our team will keep someone on the track until noon the Saturday. I hope we are all up to this. Amanda is definitely excited. She remember how special she felt last year walking the track with the other survivors as well as how much fun she had with everyone with all the activities that were going on.

I want to thank everyone that made it to the Supporters of Amanda Swim Party we had last Friday. We had a great turnout and a wonderful amount of donations. All the spare change sure added up. I took the bucket in to the credit union this morning to use their change machine and we had a total of $248.86 donated just from the swim party. We are very grateful to all those who donated. Every penny donated is going to a great cause with the American Cancer Society. I added the amount to our team's donations that you can see at our Relay For Life page here.

Also, I got some great video of the swim party at the wave pool and posted it on YouTube for everyone to see. I'm sure some of you didn't want yourself posted on YouTube in your swim suit. Sorry. Click here.

OK, its not really our swim party. Thank goodness we didn't have that kind of turnout. I get claustrophobic just watching that. Our turnout was excellent. Amanda was about the first one in the water and one of the last ones to come out. She had a great time being surrounded by so many people that have shown love and support to her during the last couple of years and we couldn't have asked for a better turnout.

I don't have Mary Ann's camera so I will have to post some actual pictures from the swim party and Relay later this weekend. Thank you again to all those who came, to those that donated, and those taking part in the Relay tonight. If you are not signed up to walk, please come on by and cheer on our team. We hope to see you there.

You're Invited

To all the Supporters of Amanda over the years, please accept our invitation to celebrate her completing her chemotherapy. Bring your friends and family and help us celebrate. Details are below, just click on the play button. We hope to see you there.

Make your own digital invitation

FINISHED!!!

AMANDA IS FINISHED WITH CHEMOTHERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The final pills have been taken. And now that she's been chemo-free for 10 days there's a little bit more color to her lips, a little bit more energy to her step, and a little bit more joy in her overall demeanor. She is slowly feeling better. We went on a family outing on a Saturday for the first time in over 2 1/2 years. It was so wonderful to get out rather than sitting at home passing time on the chemo clock. Overall, she is happier. There are the occasional moments of sadness for leaving behind what is familiar. But seeing glimpses of herself slowly come back brings a happiness to me I cannot describe. As her parents we are starting to feel a large weight being lifted off our shoulders emotionally, financially, and physically. At is hard to describe. It really hasn't set in yet completely. But we can easily say we are so excited to finally be here!

I have decided to keep this blog open for a few more months. We are still in a critical time for her, as the first 3 months are the riskiest for cancer returning. I do not believe it will, and her doctors don't either. But after two years of blogging about sadness and hardships, it will be a welcome relief to record some of the more joyful events of her life. We are waiting to hear back from Make A Wish. Now that she can actually leave the house without fear of chemo migraines we'll start getting into some activities for cancer kids, and we are eager to celebrate a big party for her on the 22nd (I'll post more info in a few days)

On a different subject I want to offer an explanation as to why our house is for sale. Despite loving our home and neighbors very much, I can't deny the feeling that we need to be somewhere else and that Amanda needs to start over. A new season of our life is starting and moving feels like the right step for us. We appreciate the support and understanding that we've been receiving with this decision as we have no intention of turning our backs on the people that have loved and supported us through our trials. We will forever be grateful to those that have seen us through our darker days.